THE PERILS OF DATING AND ITS IMPACT ON YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
The dating game has been made more complicated with the introduction of dating apps. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, to name a few, have taken over the dating scene and have quickly become how single people are searching for their new partner. The convenience of swiping left or right turns dating into a game. With every right swipe, the slight tinge of anxiety, hoping for a match and it doesn’t end there. Maybe you match, but will they answer your message? If they do answer will it go anywhere or will you just turn into pen pals, or even worse will you get “ghosted”. Dating now has so many more additional stressors, and it is not surprising to learn that it actually has a very real effect on an individual’s mental health.
According to a study conducted by Jessica Strubel out of the University of North Texas, men and women who use the app, Tinder, appear to have lower self-esteem than those who are not on the dating app. Individuals reported finding that they felt their interactions with matches were depersonalized, leaving them feelings disposable and unimportant. Individual also reported finding it difficult to connect because they found themselves wondering if there was something better with the next right swipe of their screen. Many users of dating apps describe feelings of hopelessness and anxiety that arise with prolonged usage of dating apps. This combined with the research that has shown that mobile device addiction may contribute to depression and anxiety, suggests that online dating may very well contribute to an increase in mental distress and a decrease in an individual’s overall psychological well-being.
Before logging on to dating apps it may be beneficial to reflect on how you are feeling before and after using the app, perhaps even limiting the amount of time that you are spending on the app. It may also be helpful to explore alternatives to online dating, especially if you are living in a major city like Toronto. There are many match-making business that hold events where individuals can meet others singles in person, making the experience more real and less depersonalized. It may even be helpful to take a break and to focus on your sense of self, addressing any feelings of low self-esteem and self-doubt. Dating is already stressful enough without having to questions your own self-worth. It may be helpful to seek out therapy if you are finding that the feeling of depression and anxiety linger despite taking a break from dating apps, individual therapy may be a way to address thoughts and feeling of inadequacy. Therapies such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Interpersonal Pyschotherapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy can help individual work through and develop skills to address the negative emotions that may arise through the dating process, and can help in establishing healthy boundaries and open communication in relationships.
