ANXIETY AROUND BACK TO SCHOOL. A GUIDE FOR PARENTS
This summer is coming to an end, and with the passing of labour day weekend, Tuesday will mean back to school for many. The start of a new school year can be a source of stress, anxiety, and worry for many students as they may have many questions about what they can expect when they walk into their classroom for the first time. What will their new teacher be like? Are there new students? Will this year be more challenging then the previous year? Will they be able to cope? While some worries are to be expected, there may be signs that your child may be struggling with anxiety and could benefit from further support. The important thing is to keep an open dialogue with your child in order to manage anxiety levels for both your child and for yourself.
Never underestimate the power of communication, it can be an important to tool when working through your child’s anxieties about school (and even your own!). When your child expresses concerns that they may have about school, pay attention and give them your time. You can even set a time to sit down with your child to talk about issues they may be having about school. Try not to be dismissive or minimizing of their concerns (“You’ll be fine, that not a big deal!”) and focus on validating their emotions (“Sounds like that really upset you” or, “You really didn’t like that happening to you”). You can support your child by providing them with some coping strategies on how to manage their anger. An example of a coping strategy is teaching you child to “talk back” to the negative voice that may be telling them all the awful things about school. If they are facing a situation where they have a tough teacher, or having a hard time with peers, you can help them externalize their worries by talking, writing, or drawing their concerns.
Having a plan and schedule when it comes to school can be enormously beneficial because your child will know what to expect and how the day will go. This can also help to ease your anxieties as a parent, and avoid morning rushes. If your child has specific fears or worries about an aspect of school (getting lost on the way to school, taking the bus, meeting their new teacher), you can role play and do some practice runs prior to the first day. That could involve walking to school together a few times, talking about bus safety and pretending/role playing going on the bus, and role-playing meeting a new teacher for the first time. You can also plan with your child how they will work through new situations while at school. This can help your child to feel more prepared as they walk through the school doors on the first day. It can also be helpful to begin the transition to school routine a few days prior to starting school. Rather then jumping into a new routine, it can be helpful to set alarm clock and to practice getting up early. You can plan a fun trip in the morning to help motivate your child to getting up.
It is also important to be aware of your own behaviour as a parent. Children keep a watchful eye on their parents and pick up on their anxiety. Be aware of your own anxieties and how it may impact your behaviour when you are around your child. As the parent you can model healthy coping by expressing confidence in your child, remaining positive, and not focusing on minor setbacks. The more confidence you model, the more your child will start to recognize they do not need to attach to their feelings of anxiety and worry.
